There is one thing more important than the gulf oil spill crisis being handled authoritatively and well, and that is the ILLUSION of the gulf oil spill crisis being handled authoritatively and well. To that end, we had great presidential theater last week.

President Obama went down to the Gulf Coast to roll up his sleeves, stare at the ocean and find out "whose ass to kick." It was a bold move from our Comforter, Ass-Kicker and Emoter in Chief. It doesn't clean up a drop of oil, but it makes us all feel good.

I'm serious. It works on me emotionally, if not intellectually.

As long as a president travels to a disaster site, shakes a few hands and narrows his eyes at destruction, I feel better. I begin to feel Jesus will come back and everyone will get a free puppy.